feeling old and helpless

i have for years now been navigating the blogosphere and its predecessors. from the old pyroto and affiliated BBS systems to their java-enabled inheritors, irc and mIRC platforms and their subsequent social networking sites (Bolt, mySpace, Facebook et al). i have joyfully embraced them and expanded myself through them. i play with data clouds, i network RSS feeds, i spend an obscene amount of time investigating the world through my web portal. i am genX turned cyborg and had no real trouble making the switch from dBase to Flash, even though i learned typing as a youth, rather than keyboarding, as is now taught.

there are, however, limits. i don't tweet - the form is too schizophrenic, even for me. and say what you like about the creative possibilities of the 140 character constraint (sorry Arjun Basu, Sina Queyras) but the simple fact is that the Haiku existed for thousands of years with much greater constraints and it's highly unlikely that the flaccid channel surfing automaton that is the twitter nation will ever produce anything of comparable value in form and content.

within the context of this course, i confess, i struggle. when i read Randy Bass's comment to "slow down and look at learning" i begin to twitch. slow down? i enrolled in english studies because i like to read books. my dissertation is an examination of cultural interfaces with the book object. my life online is characterised by spastic hoppings and jerky reactions to the barkings and hoppings of others. my love life, on the other hand, moves languidly between cover boards. navigating the network of blogs, the ever-shifting lines of inquiry, the rotating reading room (where there is neither room nor reading in rotation, as i must print the vast majority of what i read in order to read it) the snarl of paths and links and sites overlaid upon the incessant noise my laptop already creates...it's too much.

my computer is chained to my leg and it grows heavy. my eyes miss the sun - remember reading on grass outside? i feel weak and myopic and no longer one who directs my research but rather one who is channeled and played by the conductor of an invisible cyborg opera. perhaps, given our subject matter, that is the point. perhaps helplessness in the face of a communication media controlled by another is a worthy experience to have as i engage with the subject positions of people for whom canadian experience can have little other definition.

or perhaps i'm just turning into a curmudgeon and think Brass's "bridge to know-ware" is too symptomatic of an age where our interface with language and information lacks a substance replaced by snide homo-linguistic fluff.

time invested in blog entry: (17 minutes)
time invested in know-ware: i don't no, where has the time gone?